Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Fast Five to Break Oscar Record, Change the World

Fast Five is already the No. 1 movie of 2011, earning more than $139 million after only 10 days of release, but could it actually be in the Oscar mix at the end of the year? The franchise’s star Vin Diesel thinks so. In the Los Angeles Times‘ analysis of the films’ blue-collar appeal to multi-cultural audiences, Diesel said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if there is some Oscar talk around this. I don’t know, maybe I’m just biting off what some guy from Channel 7 thought,” he said with a chuckle. “But sooner or later, people are gonna say, ‘Wait a minute, just because they are for the working class doesn’t mean they’re not great.’”

He has a good point.  I mean I have already heard the Oscar buzz from Les Anderson and some guy I sit next to at work who has mustard stains under his collar and breaths heavy.  Vin Diesel saying Fast Five is going to win the Oscar is about the equivalent of the rumors that Shaq has a small penis.  I'm willing to bet that Shaq has an elephant trunk dangling between his thunder thighs that may look small because the guy is 7ft 425 lbs, so my guess is what Diesel meant to say was Fast Five is going to get nominated for 10 Razzies and sweep the shit out of the show.  Paul Walker is a shoo in for best actor.  Good looks bought him that house he built in the jungle with no electricity , roads to the house or food but grains and rain water, but it's not buying him an Oscar...although Caleb Mandrake is a stud.  A Skull above any other.....I have already said too much.

-Frank Martin

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