Friday, July 29, 2011

Cub Crawl Tomorrow in Wrigleyville at 3pm

I've been at the last two Cub Crawls and it has been a great time, so if you don't have any plans tomorrow afternoon, you should get your ass to Wrigleyville tomorrow during the Cubs@Cardinals game for a great bar crawl.

There were more girls than guys at the last two Cub Crawls so I can promise it won't be a sausage fest. All profits go to the Boom Foundation which helps the elderly, I guess. And God knows old people suck and need the help.

There are games and prizes at each bar along the way so feel free to jump on the crawl at any bar. See you idiots there.... Its gonna be a drunken mess with plenty of strange pussy classy educated women....details below.

Saturday, July 30th - Wrigleyville, Chicago - "Drinking for Charity!"

The Cubs vs. Cardinals game will be televised on FOX at 3:10pm.

• Registration starts after 1pm at BOTH Johnny O'Hagan's AND Redmond's

• $20 Donation for t-shirt, Bar Specials, and Chances to win prizes ($50 Value).

Or you can register today by clicking on the banner at the top of the page.

These X Games are legit

I cant even ride down steps, let alone faceplant flip on them. This shit is extreme. What? This isn't the X games..... Prove it.

Your Typical Patriots Fan

This guys face looks like his neck threw up. But his breakdown of the trades for OchoCinco and Albert Haynesworth is spot on. Just top notch analysis from the gluttony character in 'Seven'.

If you make it to end of the video let me know in the comment section if I missed anything cool. I don't have the patience to listen to fatty talk. That and I'm jealous of the Patriots moves, especially Haynesworth, who dominated our o-line when he played the Bears last year.

Oh and everyone knows he loves playing in the 4-3 right? And that the Bears are the only team that didn't run any 3-4 schemes last year. The Only team. And we didnt think a 5th rounder was worth it? His salary isn't even that bad anymore. The Pats owe him 12 million over the next two years....... but at least we signed Sam Hurd today.

Fuck Angelo.

The Beckhams

Victoria and David Beckham want to stop the constant flow of baby presents for new daughter Harper — from people they don’t know. Most of the items, including 14 pricy strollers, have been sent by kiddie goods manufacturers, hoping for a Beckham endorsement, or even a paparazzi shot of the celebrity couple using their product in public.

To solve the problem, the Beckhams have instructed their staff to send the unsolicited gifts to a number of worthy children’s charities in the Los Angeles area.

I had no reason to post this story other than the fact David Beckham looks so fucking cool. 

Shirt and tie, jeans, oh whats that? A hooded sweatshirt. Ill throw that on too, it will work it self out.  I feel like I'm still forgetting something though.  Oh ya, my ice cold stare, yes this will compliment my devastatingly good looks well tonight.

-Les Anderson

Melanie Iglesias

She is Maxim Hometown Hottie, and maybe wants to be a singer or something like that.  How I am supposed to know, all night she was like blah blah blah.  I had no idea she had a mild tolerance for roofies.  No worries though, alls well that ends well.

Here is her FB fan page.!/MelanieIglesiasfans?sk=info

Her pics are pretty cool  She doesnt wear much clothing and they are not all like magazine cover photos.  She has hot friends and there are some random celebs she probably blew.

-Les Anderson

Beastie Boys - Fight For Your Right (Revisited)

Its 30 minutes long.  It is chalk full of celeb cameos.  See how many you can count!  But seriously I was skipping through it after about 4 minutes.

-Les Anderson

David Arquette's new piece

Christina MclartyChristina Mclarty

You remember David was banging this chick post/possible mid Courtney Cox.  We now he is banging this chick, Christina McLarty.  She used to date (married?) Joe Francis.  And now David Arquette is a step up for sure but there is no way she hasn't fucked Jeremy Piven.  Her type is clearly attention whores with sketchy reputations

-Les Anderson

Nice bag

Ashley Olson rolling around in a $39,000 bag.  In a related news I use a rubber band as a wallet. (ed note: I wish I made that up to use as a punchline)

-Les Anderson

I guess gingers do have souls

Chubby, sensitive souls.

I bet the kids at school will pull a 180 and respect the shit of you now.  Those hawd ons in the Boston Public school system are sure give you wicked props for crying like you just got banged in the ass.  Your lucky they will only work you over for a few minutes before they go back to talking about Pats and all their shiny new toys 

Now this is reason to cry

-Les Anderson

Not ideal but I'll take it

Hard Knocks tv show photo

NEW YORK -- No NFL team will be taking "Hard Knocks" this summer.
HBO said Friday the uncertainty of the lockout "made it impractical for a team to commit" to the popular training camp reality show. The series is set to return next year.

The network will broadcast a 10th anniversary special Aug. 31 looking back at past "Hard Knocks": Baltimore Ravens (2001), Dallas Cowboys (2002, 2008), Kansas City Chiefs (2007), Cincinnati Bengals (2009) and New York Jets (2010).

"We know football fans are hungry for compelling NFL programming and we think they'll love the 10th anniversary special," said Rick Bernstein, executive producer for HBO Sports.
The special also will include a "Where Are They Now?" element, and never-before-seen out-takes and new interviews, HBO said.

HBO does good work so I am assuming this will be better than just a clip show.  The "where are they now" part is what I am most looking forward to.  Maybe we could some updated shots on Todd Heaps wife and Brody Croyle's wife

No clue what year this is, but she looks pretty good

This was from the show, she was probably 21.  A lot can happen to chicks between 21 and 26 though...a lot

-Les Anderson

Tell me something I don't know

So how was his relationship with former fiancee Kristin? “Kristin would call Jay a loser and a p**sy, and she’d scream it at him so everyone could hear. They would have fights about Jay being too conceited. They would also argue over how mean he was to people. She would make a point of saying hello to people in the hall, just to piss him off,” our insider laughingly tells us.
In January, they got into a big blow-out argument after Jay injured his knees during the NFL playoffs. He was diagnosed with a MCL sprain. “Kristin called Jay out, saying she thought he was faking the injury and told him he was worthless.”

Everything she says is true.  I never pictured anything else about J.Cuts.  He is an entitled sullen dickhead who didn't play through the pain that great ones would have.  But now he has Roy Williams to throw to so the times be a changin'.

I was being sarcastic, someone kill me now.  I fucking hate Roy Williams and every other move Mike Martz has orchestrated.  The worst thing that ever happened to the bears was the 99 Rams winning the Superbowl. 

God damn it I cant get over this Roy Williams thing.  He has only 1 good year, 1 in like 8 years.  He blames everyone else for everything.  Makes outrageous predictions.  He gets clowned on by chicks.  Its a lose - lose for me.  If he plays well I will be upset cause he is a jag off, and the more likely if he plays shitty, I can take no solace in his demise since it will be tied into the Bears.  He was cool as a cancer fucking up other teams.

Add him to the list.  Right next to Nancy Grace and E from Entourage

-Les Anderson

Bears sign WR Roy Williams

Bears agreed to terms with Roy Williams on a two-year deal.
Williams is reunited with Mike Martz, who helped the 29-year-old receiver reach his lone Pro Bowl back in 2006. Williams brings desperately needed size to the Bears' receiving corps and immediately gets a boost by playing for a coach that has confidence in him. Martz will find ways to help Williams separate and run many more three-wide sets than he did last year.  
We'll Williams is not one of the top 10 WR free agents but I'll take it.... I guess. Roy was a stud in Detroit but his skills have obviously diminished over the years. He is only 29 and Mike Martz hand picked him to be in this offense. The only problem is that Martz also hand picked TE Brandon Malewhatshisface and Chester Taylor last offseason. One is now gone and the other is still being overpaid as a backup.
I hope Jerry has more signings in him today. Another WR and an offensive lineman would make me feel a lot better about the 2011 season.

Toni Kukoc is a hook man

Here’s the scoop via the Croatian Times: “Of course I will stay in Osijek,” Kukoc told the media after his name emerged in connection with the elite prostitution ring headed by Nebojsa Perunovic Pance who was arrested last week. Croatian daily Jutarnji List wrote that one young woman was told to offer sexual services to ex-NBA player Kukoc.”I went there, I can’t remember the name of the hotel. In the hotel I had sexual relations with [Toni] Kukoc who paid me 500 Euros,” she said. Kukoc says he is not guilty”-T.0.

$500 Euros huh? Probably cause he looks like a high school science teacher these days.... not that there's anything wrong with that.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Big Ben wedding costs around 500k

Big Ben, who got hitched to Ashley Harlan last weekend, went all out on his post-nuptial ceremony, renting out the Spirit of Pittsburgh Ballroom for nearly 600 of his closest friends and family.

Price tag on just the space, that included 10 meeting rooms, a convention hall and all the parking spots at the place? $113,265. That doesn't even include a complimentary cocktail! Not to mention the pricey beef tenderloin and halibut on the menu, the floral decorations, additional security or transportation. The catering company alone used 150 employees for the festivities.

People are speculating at the actual price of the reception, with some guessing anywhere from $200 a head to $600 a guest, making the event anywhere from $223,000 to $473,000

Ben is on a 8 year 102 million dollar contract so I think he is fine.  All those little fuckers on My Super Sweet 16, who's parents love them more than mine, have parties that total around 500k.  And most of those kids dont even have rapes they need their wife to over look.  Nothing like money to make rapes disappear, in the eyes of the other woman of course.  The rapee will never forget...unless she never knew in the first place.

Im pretty sure that is the smallest way possible to carry 4 million dollars

-Les Anderson

Kimbo Slice's son not what you expect

Im kidding he is exactly what you expect.  He is a 6'1, 195 lb, 16 year old running back.  He does have 3.2 gpa though.  He is 1 of 9 kids (of course he is) and is about to start his Junior year.

-Les Anderson

Florida murderer caught 32 years after prison escape

This combo made from photos provided by the Florida Department of Corrections and the U.S. Marshal's Service shows Frederick Barrett in 1979, left, and on Wednesday, July 27, 2011. Barrett, who escaped from a Florida prison in 1979 while serving a life sentence for murder, was arrested Wednesday outside the town of Montrose, Colo. (AP Photo)

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla (Reuters) - Authorities on Wednesday captured a man in Colorado who escaped nearly 32 years ago from the Florida prison where he was serving a life sentence for murder.

Frederick Barrett, 60, slipped away from the Union Correctional Institution in Raiford during a nighttime power outage on August 17, 1979

Barrett was convicted of killing a traveling companion on the Florida Turnpike in February 1971.
According to officials, he choked Carl Ardolino from behind as Ardolino was driving. Barrett and another man then stopped the car, carried Ardolino to a shallow ditch filled with water and held his head underneath until he died.

All these years and he still has his looks

(of course this was in Florida.  When you read outragous news stories start mental noting where they happened.  Over 50% will be from Florida)

-Les Anderson

A Million dollars worth of cars crashed in Monaco

Guess who caused it?  If you guessed the Bently with the three blondes you are correct...and sexist, but mostly correct.

Only in Monaco would you find a Bentley Azure T that's managed to plow into a Ferrari F430, damaging an Aston Martin Rapide, a Porsche 911 Carrera S and a Mercedes S-Class in the process -

Im sure these people just laughed it all off.  They are in Monaco, whichs is what I assume Heaven looks like.

Ok that last one was my hometown, but its all the same

And they're back

The Batman and Robin of chugging dick for drugs and status are friends again or something. 

Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have officially buried the hatchet on the old feud -- and partied together in Malibu this weekend. Lohan rolled over to Hilton's beach pad for a small shindig with some of Paris' close friends ... including her sister Nicky, actress Emma Roberts and "Inception" star Lukas Haas.

One source at the party tells us, "Everyone was so surprised when Lindsay walked in and we thought they didn’t get along. But they immediately gave each other a big hug."

We're told Paris is "very excited" about rekindling her friendship with Lohan ... adding, "She LOVED seeing her again."

This is an old picture if you couldnt tell by Fred Durst hanging around in the background. 

What were we all thinking?

-Les Anderson

Terrorist Attack you say? Perfect time to talk about my bench

It is always funny when meat heads try to drop their stats on us common folk at random times. 

"Hey can you help me move this table?  Of course I deadlift 345 so this should be no problem" 

But this is just outragous.  "naturally" haha

Here is a transcript, but I'd listen to the real thing if you can.

Secondly, also for the fact that when the blast went off I was on the eighth repetition of a 165-KG bench press, uh, you know, that’s quite a lot of weight.

“You know we had ceiling and stuff come down around us, we had a lot of confused looking faces, and shortly after we heard an announcement over the speaker phone to evacuate the area as quickly as possible, people started leaving, uh, naturally I finished my sets and then quickly made my way to the second level.”

They guy must know what he is talking about, he was 8 reps in to 165 kg (363 lbs).  So I am taking his lead, God help me if I am not working out when the next terrorist attack happens. 

-Les Anderson

Pau and Ark Gasol are the new face of San Miguel beer

The bigger question is how they fit into my Jr Hi clothes.

-Les Anderson

Bicycle Kick to the Face

Now this guy knows what it feels like to be a Chicago sports fan

ps- Please trade Soriano, Please trade Soriano, Please trade Soriano.

Fukudome traded to Indians

According to ESPN's Jim Bowden, the Indians have acquired Kosuke Fukudome from the Cubs for prospect outfielder Abner Abreu and right-hander Carlton Smith.

We're still awaiting an official announcement. Paul Hoynes of the Cleveland Plain-Dealer reports that the Indians will be responsible for just $775,000 of the $4.7 million left on Fukudome's contract for this season. 

Sayonara, bitch. Get the fuck out of my city.

After his game tying 9th inning home run in his debut in the season opener in 2008, it has been all downhill for Kosuke. He has been paid 12 million a year for numbers equal to a 4th or 5th outfielder. I would argue his contract is the worst contract Jim Hendry has given out to a player. And thats saying something.

Kosuke was a great Japanese player and an average MLB player. I would imagine he will go to Cleveland and hit .250 down the stretch. Then he will limp back to Japan, with his tail between his legs, to finish out his career. I'm sure all our Asian readers appreciated the fact that i didn't take any low blows at their race in this post. And I'm equally sure my other readers are pissed that I didn't.

Does Jerry Angelo know the lockout is over?

Jerry, what the fuck, man? Do something. Anything. The rest of the NFL is making trades and signing free agents with reckless abandonment. Reggie Bush to the Dolphins, Sidney Rice to Seattle, and the Patriots got Albert Haynesworth for a 5th rounder. And the only thing I've seen come across the wire for the Bears is that they are gonna let Daniel Manning walk to the Texans and that they are looking for a trade partner for Greg Olsen.

Make an offer to anyone, even if its just a token offer, just show us your alive and know the lockout has ended. I get that we spent a lot of money last offseason on Peppers, Chester Taylor, etc. But our o-line is still shitty, we have question marks in the secondary and receiving corps and Brad Maynard is about to sign elsewhere.

We were one sprained ACL from the Super Bowl last year. Now, is not the time to stop acquiring talented players, Jerry. In fact now is the time to be short sighted. Its time to risk the future to win now. So get me a WR, and a OG by 3pm or .....or......or...... I'll make a crazy ultimatum that I'll never stick to, like I do with the Cubs.

In conclusion, just do fucking something, you asshole. And by something I mean WR Mike Sims-Walker and either Alan Faneca or Duece Lutui for offensive guard.

Raiders Cheerleader is a Grandma

Susie, a Raiderette rookie, has been a performer since the age of eight. Her dream has always been to be a part of Football’s Fabulous Females. Susie auditioned four times before making the team this year. When her number was called, she was amazed and overwhelmed. It meant a lot to her personally to continually try for something and ultimately achieve it. Susie worked in the corporate world for 11 years before opening her own dance studio for four years. She currently works as a sales assistant at a news station in Salinas. In her free time, Susie spends time with her husband and three children and her granddaughter, born in January 2011.

I don't give a fuck, I'll fuck her. And so should you, unless you're trying not to break your drought.Yes, everyone knows about your drought. Even Lou Gehrig is impressed by your "streak".

Oddly enough however, Susie, isn't the oldest cheerleader in the NFL. That title belongs to Laura Vikmanis, 42, of the Cincinnati Bengals.

A little bus stop sign humor to start your day.....

With a little hard work your dreams can be a reality. In related news, I loved being a summer camp counselor.

Is this kid getting abducted during an ESPN Interview for the X Games?

Lets do some quick math. The kid is white and the guy is black, so they obviously aren't related. Also I don't think that baby sitters look like him....ever. So I can only conclude that this kid is being abducted and no one around seems to care.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Pirates have waited 20 years to be in another playoff race....and now they are getting screwed.

PITTSBURGH Pirates president Frank Coonelly issued a statement on Wednesday, a day after his team’s 4-3 loss to the Braves in Atlanta that included a highly controversial call in the 19th inning. In doing so, Coonelly and the Pirates filed a formal complaint with the commissioner’s office over umpire Jerry Meals’ call that ended the game at Turner Field.

Can't blame Jerry Meals here. He had been wearing the home plate gear for 6 straight hours in 90 degree temps in Atlanta. He obviously made up his mind to end the game the next time there was a play at the plate. And he did just that. A lesser man would have done the noble thing and made the correct call and then that lesser man would have missed last call at the hotel lobby bar. Jerry Meals is no lesser man. So keep sticking to your guns Jerry, some of us admire it.

Top QB recruit, Gunner Kiel, chooses to play for Indiana.... really?

Gunner Kiel is the 19th overall recruit and #1 QB recruit in the nation according to and the Columbus, IN, star picked Indiana over the likes of Notre Dame, Michigan, Missouri, Georgia, Iowa, Wisconsin and Oklahoma.

Kiel said one of the biggest factors was the ability to play with his brother, Dusty, who is currently a redshirt sophomore quarterback in Bloomington. Of course, it surely didn’t hurt that first year head coach Kevin Wilson tutored Sam Bradford,while at Oklahoma,  into becoming the top overall pick of the 2010 NFL draft.

Makes sense. He probably likes hanging out with his high school friends in Indiana, who I'm sure have equally sweet first names.  He can't be bothered during the Christmas break with things like bowl games and BCS Championships. Seriously, if the Hoosiers ever win 8 games they should just shut down the program and go out on top.

This has transfer written all over it. And there had to be cash payments made. No top recruit, especially the top QB in the nation, would seriously consider playing 4 years in Bloomington without financial promises.

 PS-I bet his older brother loves the fact that he is coming to IU to steal his playing time. I fucking hate tag alongs.

Sara Kosar.... Bernie's Daughter

Last month we brought you Sydney Esiason, Boomer's daughter. Now its the ex- Cleveland Brown QB who should be feeling shame.... because his daughter is wearing nipple stickers....

And my favorite.... the slutty druggy pic....

Kylie Biscutti

She won a 2009 live Victoria's Secret model fan voted contest.  She was also a newlywed at the time at 19 years old.  I have not heard much from her since, which is good, she should be reprimanded for being married at 19. 

In fact your hottness should dictate how early/late you can get married, as a way to do the world a service and let the hottest chicks sleep with the most men.  Julie Stiles should have been married at 8 years old, probably to a staircase.  Megan fox on the other hand, 53, at the earliest.

UPDATE:   Who the fuck is this guy?  God Damn it.   The early 90's are over, this guy's slacker appeal should be non existant.  Plus I thought that shit only worked for Ethan Hawke looking model types

Damn this would be a hell of a deflowering

Their wedding website here.  God Im creepy

Its seems her guy is the near the top of some pyramid scheme as well

Fuck all this noise

-Les Anderson